I’m coming clean. I’ve been with someone else. I’m sure you’ve noticed that I’ve been neglecting you lately, and I apologize. I’m not trying to blame you, but we both know that you’re a little high maintenance. Don’t get me wrong—you’re great… really, you’re wonderful. It’s just that, with her it’s so quick and dirty. It’s so damn easy with Twitter.
We both know that over the past five years we’ve had our ups and downs. Back when we first started out, I couldn’t get enough. We used to do it every day, sometimes several times each day. And it felt great. Then, as time went on, I started to get busier. Work, kids, life… you know how it is. The excitement—the spontaneity had vanished. It started to take so much more effort and planning. I know, a lot of that… all right, most of that is my fault. I admit I’m a perfectionist. But you, of all blogs, know my philosophy: if you’re going to do something, do it right.
Then it happened. I heard people talking about her. How easy she was. No commitment; nothing serious. I ignored her siren call for a whie, but eventually, I started thinking of excuses to get closer to Twitter, to give her a spin. But I stayed loyal to my blog… for a few months anyway. I even used my blog to publicly mock Twitter. I’m so sorry.
Over time the urges continued to strengthen. I lingered on Twitter’s website more frequently. Rumors of how often Twitter goes down peaked my lusty interest. I finally made up an excuse: I needed to succumb to her seductive call for work… it was social media research. Again, I shamefully used this very blog to publicly document my initial tryst with the hussy.
And it was, no… it is so easy. Even as I sit with you, pouring my heart out to you, I think of how easy it would be to quickly send a 140 character or less missive off into the ether. It’s grown from a lurid fascination to an obsession. I used to see her once or twice each day, mostly at work. But I quickly longed for more time with Twitter. I wanted to tweet in all kinds of exotic and unusual places: on my way home in the car, at the grocery store, even on my family vacation to Puerto Rico. I have even recruited my friends to join in the fun. I disgust myself.
I thought maybe Twitter would bring us closer. I thought I’d learn a few things that I could use here. Ultimately, it’s just distracted me from the business of blogging. Why am I telling you this? Guilt I suppose. I can’t promise I’ll be around as often as I was when we first started out; and Twitter will still be part of my life. But I’ll do my best to spend more quality time with you if you’ll allow me to have an open relationship.
